My little man, Kingston

Our oldest daughter, Brittan, likes to take either Kingston or Allbri and spend one on one time with them. Yesterday, she took Kingston for some fun time. When she came home, she was full of funny stories about their adventures....here are a few.

While in line at McDonalds, Kingston see's a young man from Verizon wearing a suit and tie.
Kingston "I love your tie."
The young man, smiles, says thank you, and takes it off and let's Kingston wear it until they are out of line.

Next, when walking around the mall, Kingston saw a little girl with glasses on. He walks up to her and says "those are beautiful eyeglasses you have on."
The mother loves his compliment and is quick to compliment back with his "big" vocabulary.

With so many stories I read about the public being hostile or cruel to our kiddos, (it's something we've never had happened), but I smile when I see or hear complete strangers take a few minutes out of their time to engage with my kids. ♥

I love hearing stories like this about my little guy. The world in his eyes is full of love, acceptance, and innocence.

I wish everyone could be like my son.

In the beginning.....

****I wanted to do something different for Autism Awareness Month. No statistics, no numbers, no bill-boarding. This year I am going to let you all in on some of our most personal experiences, no holds barred. But remember, these are our family's experiences, they are true, how we felt/feel, and not to ensue a war of words from anyone else.****

I remember typing all the little "odd" characteristics of Allbri into the computer...the word autism came up. I then looked up autism, and felt my heart sink. It could have said terminal, because this is how I felt. I didn't tell my husband what I had learned that day. I needed to keep this to myself. What was she going to do? I had never even considered having anymore children and then I met and married Dave. I had my beautiful baby girl later in life....I was 38....I wasn't going to have enough time with her. Who would take care of her? How will I take care of her? Does she know me? Will she ever love me? I spent literally weeks learning all I could about autism. The internet is a very dangerous place to troll when your on the hunt for information. Nothing good was I all I could find about autism.....nothing good. I had just lost my brother a year before this and now my baby girl had a life of misery. I cursed God. I could never believe in something that could hurt loved ones....what did I do in my younger years to cause God to take it out on my family? My belief was shot.

I could write a book about those weeks. This is just glimpse into those first few weeks. Obviously, my thinking has changed. If I could give one bit of advice to new families, it would be, don't investigate autism on the internet. Skip the books. Look for groups of parents who have autistic children. Look for the autistic adults.....those are the experts.
I feel so bad thinking the way I did, but, I am human. I am weak. I knew nothing about autism. Now, it is my job to make sure what we read and understand about autism isn't bad, isn't terminal, isn't the end. When I tell you that I am so grateful to be chosen as Allbri and Kingston's mom, I am not joking. If I knew now that I would have autistic children, would I still have them? Hell yes. These two little creatures have changed my life. I am a different person, a different friend, a different wife, a different mother.

For the record, Allbri's life as a adult is taken care of. We planned, talked about it as a family, and have a will with a guardianship in place. Will I be around forever? No. But, I have plenty of time to spend with my kids and I cherish each day. And, YES....Allbri loves us, we know this. She shows us, she tells us. And she knows she has a family that loves her as well.

My beautiful girl, Allbri

It's Going To Be Okay.....mom.

****I wanted to do something different for Autism Awareness Month. No statistics, no numbers, no bill-boarding. This year I am going to let you all in on some of our most personal experiences, no holds barred. But remember, these are our family's experiences, they are true, how we felt/feel, and not to ensue a war of words from anyone else.****

I knew something was wrong.

The pain was too much.

The world was spinning, and the ride was sickening.

Everything was out of control. The crying, others not understanding, the loneliness.

The fight was too much.

I, Christine, the wife, the mother, needed help.

I still remember those days. Although, they are more of a blur now because my life is filled with too much positive, I still remember.

No one understood. My husband and daughter were telling me to just listen to the doctors. The doctors are always right.

They were not right.

But, I didn't know what to do. I was losing my child, and I didn't know how to help her.

I was just hanging on myself.

I remember I had a doctor appointment myself. I felt the words coming out of my mouth..." I need to talk. I need help."

But, the words were never heard. Only I heard them.

I walked out of the doctor office cursing myself for being a coward.

Then the day.

We moved out of state into a new home. Allbri was screaming the whole time, not wanting to have anything to do with nothing. When I tell you that she cried for hours, I am not kidding.

I walked up to her, face to face, and screamed at her "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!"

My daughter, Brittan, said to me "Mom, what are you doing?"

I stood there, embarrassed, ashamed, sad, defeated.

I just confronted my 2 1/2 year old baby girl like a bully.

I was done.

You know, I let that image haunt, yes haunt, me for years. I have forgiven myself. I know that I am human.

I have always been the person in control. I am the leader never the follower. So, when I couldn't find answers, felt alone, felt my child slipping, I crumbled.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I made the appointment.

I talked to my doctor.

I got the help that I needed to learn coping skills.

Yes, and I take that little yellow pill.

I probably will forever.

Thing is, it's okay. I want to let you know you are not alone. It's tough. I still have days. Who doesn't? But, when you feel the world giving out, it's okay to talk to someone.

I am telling you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, you just have to walk a little further to see it ♥

This is why I do what I do

I must say, it's been such a long time since I've blogged.  Not that I never have anything to say, I guess I've just been content on keeping up with the Facebook page.

I usually write about Allbri and Kingston, what they've done, or achieved for themselves.  Good and bad, it goes on the page.

The experiences I've had the past week need to be blogged about.

Chuck E Cheese

An outing to Chuck E Cheese is the ultimate experience for both Kingston and Allbri.  The kids love playing all the games, they both love the vibrating chair game thingy, they both will actually eat the pizza, (which is why "I" love it!) and Allbri loves Chuckie himself.

When we tell her she is going, this is all she will talk about.  
One time we went and a little girl was having her birthday party.  Chuckie was coming out to greet her and her little party guests, when Allbri swarms in for the kill....in Allbri's eyes, it was her party and no one was going to come in between her and Chuckie!

Fast forward to this past Friday.
We went to Chuck E Cheese, it was quiet, no one was there except us and the cashier girl.
I asked her if Chuckie would be coming out and she told us that since she was the only one working at the time, the chances wouldn't be great.
I was disappointed, but I told her Allbri would be even more disappointed.  I explained to the girl that Allbri was autistic, and she loved Chuckie.  With that being said, we went on our way to find a table.
Literally 5 minutes later, Chuckie shows up.  I was happy that this young girl not only took the time to listen to what I was saying but "reacted" to what I said.
The 5 minutes she (Chuckie) spent with Allbri was a night time of memories for my little girl.
Allbri spent the rest of the night squealing "I huggie Chuckie".  
I just smiled.

Jillian Michaels

This weekend the great Jillian Michael's wish came true for my Allbri and she doesn't even know it yet.
If you follow our page, you know that I have written Jillian Michael's "people" hoping for an autograph picture for Allbri's birthday.
Allbri "works out" to Jillian every day....sometimes for hours....and believe me, I'm not exaggerating....Jillian rules the television in our home.

A fellow blogger, The Autism Onion, saw what I had posted and showed her husband, who happens to know a friend who works with Jillian!  They sent a caption to their friend, who in returned showed it to Jillian Michael's!

Jillian saw my Allbri!

How does this kind of thing even happen?!

The Autism Onion emailed us with an autographed picture and a note explaining how she did her part in getting it.  
To say I was stunned would not even be accurate, I still can't find the right word to express myself.  Maybe I'm afraid if I do, I will break down and cry, hard.

Two perfect strangers took my daughter, Allbri, and made a small gesture that impacted her.  Allbri doesn't even know this.
This is why I do what I do.
I thought I was spreading awareness to the outside world.
Turns out, most of them are already aware.   


For more about the Jillian Michael's picture, visit http://theautismonion.com/2012/10/07/6-degrees-of-separation/ or their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheAutismOnion?fref=ts

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HOW WE SPENT OUR SUMMER VACATION

I remember thinking when Allbri was younger and wasn't doing well in public, how on earth would we ever have a normal life?  Our lives would never be the same.
We and she, would become reclusive.

We were just beginning to adjust to life as we thought it would have to be, when I started to suspect Kingston was on the spectrum.
I spent so much time and energy focusing on what they weren't going to ever  be able to do that I was blindsided when those "happenings" weren't at all happening.

Kingston and Allbri might not be on track on what my other two girls did at their ages, but, they nevertheless are making memories.  At their own pace....

Kingston played his first game of Scrabble!

I thought instead of a long blog on what we did on our summer vacation, I would just post the pictures of the highlights!

Remember, don't let anyone tell you that your child can't or won't....what is meant to happen will.

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Kingston learning the bongo!



Visiting the museum...all about the dinosaurs!

Visiting an aquarium

Swimming!

Visiting grandma and grandpa in Mississippi!

Riding the train....while covering her ears!

Our newest swimmer!

Our newest bowler!

Playing with our cousin, Mason!

Who knows all 44 Presidents??  !!!

Beach time!

Kingston sleeping in his own bed....although, it is next to mom and papa's bed....and he still comes to bed with us after a few hours...but, still!

Allbri getting bi-annual haircut!

Park time!

Allbri visiting her favorite rock!

Kingston seeking more knowledge!!

We said goodbye to our friend, Kiley....our respite girl!!

Kingston learned how to climb the rock wall!

Zoo time!!  Although, they would rather play in the dirt!

Look who learned how to dress herself at night!!

Miss Allbri is now a bike rider!!

My son showed me how much he really knows about his big sister!

Kingston got his first salon haircut!!

Kingston at PreK open house........

Thank you all!

I just want to say thank you to all who have/are liking our Facebook page.

This just started out as a small online journal of sorts for our daughter, Allbri, who is classic autistic.
I seemed to make it a bigger, therapeutic, educational page when we learned our son, Kingston, was also autistic, on the Aspergers side.

I love hearing about other families and their stories and journeys regarding their loved ones who are autistic.
I just want the world to know that mine and your children are here and they have just as much rights as anyone else.

We are their voices..............